Willful Obedience

obedience 2

Isaiah 6:7

“And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin is purged.”

This was one of those occasions where I was reading a scripture that was not new to me, yet God gave me a new revelation. As I’m reading and the scales are dropping off my eyes, the fear of the unknown lingers. The fear of trusting God, and the pain that I’m sure will follow if I don’t do what I think is best. I realized that it came down to one burning question in my often independent mindset. If I’m trusting God with everything in my life, where does that leave me? Seriously, what role do I play in my own life if I don’t have any kind of a say in it.

As I think about this I see where the question itself is wrong because it isn’t even my own life. My life was bought and paid for, and if I’m accepting that gift then it would be wise to accept all of God’s plans for me. I could probably get away with going through the motions for a while. Honestly, what would be the point?  For me it becomes all about growing in God, and one way for that to happen is for me to be unflinchingly honest with God, as well as myself. To not allow my fears to become tangible and usurp the Grace and Mercy He freely gives. It’s such a struggle to internalize that these are free. When I think they come with a price tag, I put God on equal footing as myself.  Which then allows my flesh to dictate my actions, and my obedience becomes a matter of convenience instead of my desire. 

In the presence of God,  Isaiah was filled with fear.  I imagine his senses were overwhelmed by God’s presence; seeing God’s train fill the temple, hearing the Seraphim, the smoke filling his nostrils. It was a different kind of fear than I was experiencing, his fear was driving him to his knees, and mine was causing me to flee.  His fear had him crying out to God, mine can just have me crying. God not only heard his cry, He answered it. What amazes when I read this is not only how Isaiah accepted the “live coal” so readily, and without pain, but also how this purging had Isaiah immediately and without hesitation say “Here I am, send me” (Isaiah 6:7). He didn’t know the where, the what or the how, but he answered the call. The task that was entrusted to him ended up being no small thing, and most certainly would not gain him anything of value in this world. Still Isaiah remained obedient, like some of us he had been in this world long enough to see what it had to offer.

I realized that my unfounded fears of possible pain had eclipsed my desire to trust God in all things. I know there will be pain, trials and tribulations will undoubtedly come my way. The difference is the purpose of those challenges. These are God driven challenges that will encourage not only my faith, but those who God has called me to share my testimonies with. The thought of not sharing God’s love with others is far more fearsome than the responsibility of doing so.

Romans 8:5 “ For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit”