My identity in Christ has been evolving over this past year, in some ways at a mind blowing pace. At other times it’s been so nuanced that I wasn’t even aware of it until situations would occur that demanded I voice the change in order to keep my identity intact. My ever growing acceptance of God’s love has me being confident in new ways, that I don’t always recognize myself. I was terrified of public speaking, and now volunteer to lead prayer. I’ve been denied home ownership opportunities and now I’m being offered money to buy a home. I’m incredibly grateful, and thankful to God for these and all the other changes that have been happening.
Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
As I reflect on the source of my growth, I’ve discovered that my identity has always been determined by what and who I draw from. Now that I have a new source from a well that is always full, I’m able to stay the course much easier than before. I had gotten to the point where I was able to give my worries, insecurities, etc… to God, but I hadn’t denied myself access to the old wells. So my instinct to “go dark” and overthink an innocuous comment until it became a reality (in my mind) of the end of a job, friendship, or even my relationship with God was still very much alive. What I’ve learned was that my old wells not only had to be filled in, sealed, and locked up; then I had to throw the key away and not put it in the junk drawer “just in case;” for me it had to be gone. Once I no longer had access I found that the enemy no longer had access either. The enemy can’t have my mind, my loved ones, my finances, my home because I’m no longer sustained by wells that have been perpetually devoid of any value. They only existed because I insisted on using them.
2 Peter 2:17 “These are wells without water, clouds that are carried with a tempest; to whom the mist of darkness is reserved for ever.”
Historically, wells were vital to the survival of the respective communities. Lands were claimed, and wars were waged for access to wells. This is represented in the Bible, from Hagar, Isaac’s four wells to the Samaritan woman in John 4 to name a few. While people are going about their daily chores of using the wells, God uses this as an opportunity to reveal His plans and gives us glimpses into His character. His plans on marriage, children, when to fight, when to keep it moving, and forgiveness are revealed from various encounters that occurred at wells. I imagine one of the reasons the Samaritan woman answered Jesus truthfully was because she must have been tired of drawing from that same well everyday. She was probably going at noon to avoid the other women, the stares, and the whispers. Her honesty is what Jesus wanted to hear, not to embarrass her but because He loved her as she was. God wants us to be willing to be transformed, and for that we have to be honest in the darker areas of our lives. For the changes to be substantive, and not just for show one should stay alert, and be mindful of the wells you access, and who has access to them. I know that my wells of strife and anger have been put away. That those I use now allow me room to grow, and a place to rest and rejoice in God.
Isaiah 12:3 “Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.”